|
I've been trying to think how to make some
money out of this, and I think I've found a way...
| The Exciting Story of My
Discovery of The Siargao Diet
™ |
|
At the very
beginning of my seashore foraging and fishing study, I thought it
might be right to find out what the local townsfolk actually ate
every day. I gave each of my five 'bead ladies' a notebook,
and asked them to record their meals in detail each day for a month.
They did a great job - very consistently. The results showed that
they and their families lived on a regular diet of rice and fish,
with occasional vegetables and fruit. The fish is usually just a
topping for the rice, and is cooked in various ways:
The four most popular dishes
were:
-
Buyad (dried fish) -
fried crispy - usually for breakfast - with rice
-
Paksiw -
Fish stew with garlic, ginger and vinegar - with rice
-
Tinola - Clear
fish soup with some vegetables - with rice
-
Fried Fish - well, just
fried fish - very well-cooked, so the leftovers can be kept
without refrigeration - with rice
| It became very obvious that rice is
the main staple - the high calory energy-giver, the
fill-you-up and burn stuff that keeps you going.
Rice, except for its starch, is about the most
nutrient-free food in the world - but 3 billion people live on
it.
It is not very good at extracting essential trace
elements from the soil, and since the 'Green Miracle' of the
60s and 70s that increased rice yields by 400%, is even worse.
5 times as much rice can only suck the same small amount of
essential trace elements from the same bit of soil as their
old-fashioned predecessors - that is, about 20% as much per
grain as the oldies did.
The local rice is rinsed (5 times) but then boiled
without salt or any other addition
The only flavouring is the topping - maybe 10% of the
meal bulk - but with that, trouble is taken, and it's only the
topping that keeps the local diet so
healthy. |
Other dishes eaten were:
-
Sari-Sari - mixed
vegetables stir-fried
-
Ginisa - Stir fried
vegetables or shellfish - not mixed
-
Adobo - Stew flavoured
with soy sauce - usually octopus or chicken
-
Mongos - Dried
mung bean (lentils) stew with coconut milk and dried
fish
-
Pancit - Noodles with
soup and egg - often pre-packaged 'Instant Noodles'
-
Kinilaw - Raw fish
with vinegar, chili and onions - popular for men's drinking
parties as pulutan - finger food.
-
Scabetche - Sweet &
sour fish with vegetables
-
Ginata'an - Coconut milk
soup with fish
-
Ninijugan -
Coconut meat special - with kayabang land crabs at full moon.
-
Salads of papaya, agar-agar
seaweed, banana buds, etc, sometimes with coconut milk
-
Ninidgid - Mashed
camote sweet potato, sugar and coconut milk steamed in banana
leaf.
And fast food has arrived:
-
Chicken or 'hot dog'
barbecue - There are several stands around the town - they
sell mostly the very cheap cuts of chicken - wings, feet, necks,
gizzards, and hearts, liver & stomach, marinated always in a
'secret' sauce. Eaten 'out' when socialising in the evening.
Always more available after the Sunday cockfights. 'Hot
dogs' are the same repulsive violent purple or pink things
you get worldwide, made from God knows what.
-
There's a story about a
Filipino, visiting New York for the first time, and pining for his
native foodstuffs. When he sees a 'HOT DOG' stand, he sighs with
homesick relief, and orders one, but rejects it politely when it
arrives, explaining 'We never eat that part of the
dog'.
-
There has recently been a small
'trade war' between the Americans and the Filipinos - nobody in
America eats chicken winglets, feet, necks, gizzards, or hearts,
liver & stomach, so they've been dumped here, frozen by the
container-load, in the name of 'Free Trade'.
-
I have never seen a nice fat,
plump chicken breast on sale here, except from chickens locally
grown, and they certainly ain't 'corn-fed'.
|
|
Adie |
Baning |
Morena |
Myrna |
Wilma |
22 years old, about to settle down with
a Canadian surfer in an idyllic spot at Cloud 9
Breakfast: Rice,
dolphinfish soup, water Lunch: Sari-sari - eggplant, beans
& squash
Supper: Rice,
barbecued chicken neck, water |
33 years old, married with 2 children,
treasurer to barangay council.
Breakfast: Bread
& coffee Lunch: Her daughter Nene's birthday Rice, fish
kinilaw, chicken with bihon noodles, chicken with
soup, grilled fish, Coke Supper: Rice, Fish
Paksiw |
37 years old, 11 children - married to
'pirate' Peter, a 53 yr old Australian. Spends about $50 per week on
food for the full baker's dozen.
Breakfast: Coffee Lunch: Hamburger
& Coke Dinner: Beef loaf
Not a very good advertisement (that day at
least) for The Siargao Diet
™ |
22 years old, not married but
looking. Lives with her family, and does most of the household
chores.
Breakfast - Boiled
camote tops & rice Lunch - Rice and Ninijugan - crabs
& coconut milk Dinner - Rice & grilled Bolis -
skipjack tuna |
27 years old, not married, one child.
Lives with her family and does everything.
Breakfast - Rice
& fried fish Lunch - Rice, sardines & banana Dinner -
Rice and tayad (small fish)
|
|

As
you can see from the pictures above, you too can stay;
-
Young, fresh and beautiful
-
Slim, with a beautiful skin
quality
-
With perfectly healthy teeth - a natural
brilliant smile with no thanks to Colgate.
-
Hair lustrous, silky and strong
-
Full to the brim
with good things like n-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids, iodine,
copper and iron, docosahexaenoate & lauric acid, acetyl
CoA, omega-3, omega-6 and perhaps even
omega-14 ........etc etc, plus just a little bit of
snake oil.
Ailyn Quintas, 22, of General Luna, Siargao Island,
writes:
I've been taking only The Siargao Diet ™ all my life. I
owe it and my family my constant good health, happiness and
contentment. Besides that, I would make a very good
housewife, and I'm looking for a husband. Call 0063 0921 6197330 |
 | |
But we don't need testimonials to the amazing
effects of The Siargao
Diet ™ it speaks for
itself.
|
Do you sincerely wish
to become or remain |
|
young, beautiful and
desirable ? |
|

If you do...
| Then please send just $50 (Fifty US Dollars) to: |
Richard Parker
|
| In used notes (Sorry, American Express will
not do at all) |
Coconut Studio
|
| By express airmail or courier |
Purok 3 |
| In a plain brown envelope |
General Luna
|
| |
Siargao Island
|
| |
Surigao Del Norte
|
| |
8419 The
Philippines |
We,
Coconut Studio International™©
will send you IMMEDIATELY or whenever the next
inter-island boat sails:
A politically correct, recycled Tanduay
bottle containing:
 |
|
Pure Distilled Essence
of Siargao 10g Pure Siargao
Water 30g Pure Siargao
Air 60cc "The Best West of Los
Angeles" | |
 |
| Our universal
panacea The
Siargao Diet ™ is a GUARANTEED™©: |
| Anthelmintic |
Aphrodisiac |
Diuretic |
Refrigerant |
| Antidotal |
Astringent |
Haemostat |
Stomachic |
| Antiseptic |
Bactericide |
Pediculicide |
Styptic |
| Aperient |
Depurative |
Purgative |
Suppurative |
| ….and
Vermifuge |
| The Siargao Diet
™ will make you young,
fresh and beautiful, and cure all
ills, including, but not limited to: |
| Abscesses |
Colds |
Flu |
Rash |
| Alopecia |
Constipation |
Gingivitis |
Scabies |
| Amenorrhea |
Cough |
Gonorrhea |
Scurvy |
| Asthma |
Debility |
Haematemesis |
Sore
Throat |
| Blenorrhagia |
Dropsy |
Haemoptysis |
Stomach |
| Bronchitis |
Dysentery |
Jaundice |
Swelling |
| Bruises |
Dysmenorrhea |
Menorrhagia |
Syphilis |
| Burns |
Earache |
Nausea |
Toothache |
| Cachexia |
Erysipelas |
Phthisis |
Tuberculosis |
| Calculus |
Fever |
Pregnancy |
Tumours |
| Typhoid |
Venereal Diseases |
…and Wounds |
| Unlike other patent medicines you may have come
across, it is also GUARANTEED™© to cure: |
| Leprosy |
Yellow fever |
In-growing toenails |
Periodic
pains |
| Dandruff |
Auto-immune afflictions of all kinds
|
Bubonic plague |
Hangovers |
.jpg) |
|
is best taken as a tincture, with a good
measure of London Dry
Gin. |
If
you are not TOTALLY SATISFIED then just send back the bottle, and I,
personally, GUARANTEE™© to replace your
money IMMEDIATELY or whenever the
next inter-island boat sails |
Back to Coconut Studio Index Page
Richard Parker - Siargao Island - April 2005
(Last updated Monday, May 08, 2006)
I welcome comments
or corrections on my site and opinions, so please feel free to email me
at: richardparker01@yahoo.com
|