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Seashore Foraging & Fishing Study
The Siargao Diet ™

I've been trying to think how to make some money
out of this, and I think I've found a way... 

The Exciting Story of My Discovery of The Siargao Diet ™

At the very beginning of my seashore foraging and fishing study, I thought it might be right to find out what the local townsfolk actually ate every day. I gave each of my five 'bead ladies' a notebook, and asked them to record their meals in detail each day for a month. They did a great job - very consistently. The results showed that they and their families lived on a regular diet of rice and fish, with occasional vegetables and fruit. The fish is usually just a topping for the rice, and is cooked in various ways:


The four most popular dishes were: 

  • Buyad (dried fish) - fried crispy - usually for breakfast - with rice

  • Paksiw - Fish stew with garlic, ginger and vinegar - with rice

  • Tinola - Clear fish soup with some vegetables - with rice

  • Fried Fish - well, just fried fish - very well-cooked, so the leftovers can be kept without refrigeration - with rice

It became very obvious that rice is the main staple - the high calory energy-giver, the fill-you-up and burn stuff that keeps you going. 

Rice, except for its starch, is about the most nutrient-free food in the world - but 3 billion people live on it. 

It is not very good at extracting essential trace elements from the soil, and since the 'Green Miracle' of the 60s and 70s that increased rice yields by 400%, is even worse. 5 times as much rice can only suck the same small amount of essential trace elements from the same bit of soil as their old-fashioned predecessors - that is, about 20% as much per grain as the oldies did.

The local rice is rinsed (5 times) but then boiled without salt or any other addition

The only flavouring is the topping - maybe 10% of the meal bulk - but with that, trouble is taken, and it's only the topping that keeps the local diet so healthy.

Other dishes eaten were:

  • Sari-Sari - mixed vegetables stir-fried

  • Ginisa - Stir fried vegetables or shellfish - not mixed

  • Adobo - Stew flavoured with soy sauce - usually octopus or chicken

  • Mongos - Dried mung bean (lentils) stew with coconut milk and dried fish 

  • Pancit - Noodles with soup and egg - often pre-packaged 'Instant Noodles'

  • Kinilaw - Raw fish with vinegar, chili and onions - popular for men's drinking parties as pulutan - finger food.

  • Scabetche - Sweet & sour fish with vegetables

  • Ginata'an - Coconut milk soup with fish

  • Ninijugan - Coconut meat special - with kayabang land crabs at full moon.

  • Salads of papaya, agar-agar seaweed, banana buds, etc, sometimes with coconut milk

  • Ninidgid - Mashed camote sweet potato, sugar and coconut milk steamed in banana leaf.

And fast food has arrived:

  • Chicken or 'hot dog' barbecue - There are several stands around the town - they sell mostly the very cheap cuts of chicken - wings, feet, necks, gizzards, and hearts, liver & stomach, marinated always in a 'secret' sauce. Eaten 'out' when socialising in the evening. Always more available after the Sunday cockfights. 'Hot dogs'  are the same repulsive violent purple or pink things you get worldwide, made from God knows what.

  • There's a story about a Filipino, visiting New York for the first time, and pining for his native foodstuffs. When he sees a 'HOT DOG' stand, he sighs with homesick relief, and orders one, but rejects it politely when it arrives, explaining 'We never eat that part of the dog'. 

  • There has recently been a small 'trade war' between the Americans and the Filipinos - nobody in America eats chicken winglets, feet, necks, gizzards, or hearts, liver & stomach, so they've been dumped here, frozen by the container-load, in the name of 'Free Trade'. 

  • I have never seen a nice fat, plump chicken breast on sale here, except from chickens locally grown, and they certainly ain't 'corn-fed'.

  So I took a typical day's diary for each (1st December 2004):

          

Adie

Baning

Morena

Myrna

Wilma

22 years old, about to settle down with a Canadian surfer in an idyllic spot at Cloud 9



Breakfast: Rice, dolphinfish soup, water
Lunch: Sari-sari - eggplant, beans & squash

Supper: Rice, barbecued chicken neck, water

33 years old, married with 2 children, treasurer to barangay council.




Breakfast: Bread & coffee
Lunch: Her daughter Nene's birthday
Rice, fish kinilaw, chicken with bihon noodles, chicken with soup, grilled fish, Coke
Supper: Rice, Fish Paksiw

37 years old, 11 children - married to 'pirate' Peter, a 53 yr old Australian. Spends about $50 per week on food for the full baker's dozen. 

Breakfast: Coffee
Lunch: Hamburger & Coke
Dinner: Beef loaf

Not a very good advertisement (that day at least) for 
The Siargao Diet ™

22 years old, not married but looking.
Lives with her family, and does most of the household chores.

Breakfast - Boiled camote tops & rice
Lunch - Rice and Ninijugan - crabs & coconut milk
Dinner - Rice & grilled Bolis - skipjack tuna

27 years old, not married, one child. Lives with her family  and does everything.



Breakfast - Rice & fried fish
Lunch - Rice, sardines & banana
Dinner - Rice and tayad (small fish)




As you can see from the pictures above, you too can stay;

  • Young, fresh and beautiful

  • Slim, with a beautiful skin quality

  • With perfectly healthy teeth - a natural brilliant smile with no thanks to Colgate.

  • Hair lustrous, silky and strong

  • Full to the brim with good things like n-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids, iodine, copper and iron, docosahexaenoate & lauric acid, acetyl CoA, omega-3, omega-6 and perhaps even omega-14
    ........etc etc
    , plus just a little bit of snake oil.

Ailyn Quintas, 22, of General Luna, Siargao Island, writes:

I've been taking only The Siargao Diet ™ all my life. I owe it and my family my constant good health, happiness and contentment. Besides that, I would make a very good housewife, and I'm looking for a husband. Call 0063 0921 6197330

But we don't need testimonials to the amazing effects of 
The Siargao Diet ™ 
it speaks for itself.

Do you sincerely wish to become or remain

young, beautiful and desirable ?

 



If you do...

Then please send just $50 (Fifty US Dollars)  to:  Richard Parker
In used notes (Sorry, American Express will not do at all) Coconut Studio
By express airmail or courier Purok 3
In a plain brown envelope General Luna
  Siargao Island
  Surigao Del Norte
  8419 The Philippines

We, Coconut Studio International™© will send you IMMEDIATELY
or whenever the next inter-island boat sails:


A politically correct, recycled Tanduay bottle containing:

Pure Distilled 
Essence of Siargao
10g
Pure Siargao Water
30g
Pure Siargao Air 
60cc
"The Best West of Los Angeles"


Our universal panacea The Siargao Diet ™ is a GUARANTEED™©:
Anthelmintic Aphrodisiac Diuretic Refrigerant
Antidotal Astringent Haemostat Stomachic
Antiseptic Bactericide Pediculicide Styptic
Aperient Depurative Purgative Suppurative
….and Vermifuge
The Siargao Diet ™ will make you young, fresh and beautiful, and cure all ills, including, but not limited to:
Abscesses Colds Flu Rash
Alopecia Constipation Gingivitis Scabies
Amenorrhea Cough Gonorrhea Scurvy
Asthma Debility Haematemesis Sore Throat
Blenorrhagia Dropsy Haemoptysis Stomach
Bronchitis Dysentery Jaundice Swelling
Bruises Dysmenorrhea Menorrhagia Syphilis
Burns Earache Nausea Toothache
Cachexia Erysipelas Phthisis Tuberculosis
Calculus Fever Pregnancy Tumours
Typhoid Venereal Diseases …and Wounds
Unlike other patent medicines you may have come across, it is also GUARANTEED™© to cure:
Leprosy Yellow fever In-growing toenails Periodic pains
Dandruff Auto-immune afflictions of all kinds Bubonic plague Hangovers 

 

is best taken as a tincture, with a good measure of London Dry Gin.

If you are not TOTALLY SATISFIED then just send back the bottle, and I, personally, GUARANTEE™© to replace your money IMMEDIATELY 
or whenever the next inter-island boat sails

  Back to Coconut Studio Index Page

 

Richard Parker  - Siargao Island - April  2005 (Last updated Monday, May 08, 2006)  

I welcome comments or corrections on my site and opinions, so please feel free to email me at:  richardparker01@yahoo.com